FORGIVENESS

How do I know when I've truly forgiven someone?

Forgiveness may result in sincerely spoken words such as "I forgive you" or tender actions that fit the relationship. But more than this, forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. The offense is no longer front and center in your thoughts or feelings. Your hostility, resentment and misery have made way for compassion, kindness and peace.

Also, remember that forgiveness often isn't a one-time thing. It begins with a decision, but because memories or another set of words or actions may trigger old feelings, you may need to recommit to forgiveness over and over again.

What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change?

Getting the other person to change their actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. In fact, the other person may never change or apologize for the offense. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life — by bringing you more peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing.

Forgiveness takes away the power the other person continues to wield in your life. Through forgiveness, you choose to no longer define yourself as a victim. Forgiveness is done primarily for yourself, and less so for the person who wronged you.

What if I'm the one who needs forgiveness?

It may help to spend some time thinking about the offense you've committed and trying to determine the effect it has had on others. Unless it may cause more harm or distress, consider admitting the wrong you've done to those you've harmed, speaking of your sincere sorrow or regret, and specifically asking for forgiveness — without making excuses.

But if this seems unwise because it may further harm or distress, don't do it — it's not about making yourself feel better by apologizing. You don't want to add salt to a painful wound. Also, keep in mind that you can't force someone to forgive you. They will need to move to forgiveness in their own time.

In any case, we hav e to be willing to forgive ourselves. Holding on to resentment against yourself can be just as toxic as holding on to resentment against someone else. Recognize that poor behavior or mistakes don't make you worthless or bad.
Accept the fact that you — like everyone else — aren't perfect. Accept yourself despite your faults. Admit your mistakes. Commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect. And again, talking with a spiritual leader, mental health provider or trusted friend or relative may be helpful.

Forgiveness of yourself or someone else, though not easy, can transform your life. Instead of dwelling on the injustice and revenge, instead of being angry and bitter, you can move toward a life of peace, compassion, mercy, joy and kindness

How do I reach a state of forgiveness?


Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. It can be difficult and it can take time. Everyone moves toward forgiveness a little differently. One step is to recognize the value of forgiveness and its importance in our lives at a given time.

Another is to reflect on the facts of the situation, how we've reacted, and h ow this combination has affected our lives, our health and our well-being. Then, as we are ready, we can actively choose to forgive the one who has offended us. In this way, we move away from our role as a victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in our lives.

Forgiveness also means that we change old patterns of beliefs and actions that are driven by our bitterness. As we let go of grudges, we'll no longer define our lives by how we've been hurt, and we may even find compassion and understanding.

What happens if I can't forgive someone?

Forgiveness can be very challenging. It may be particularly hard to forgive someone who doesn't admit wrong or doesn't speak of their sorrow. Keep in mind that the key benefits of forgiveness are for you. If you find yourself stuck, it may be helpful to take some time to talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider or an unbiased family member or friend.

It may also be helpful to reflect on times you've hurt others and on those who have forgiven you. As you recall how you felt, it may help you to understand the position of the person who hurt you. It can also be beneficial to pray, use guided meditation or journal. In any case, if the intention to forgive is present, forgiveness will come in its time.

My Dear Friends, I found this article i thought of Sharing it with you and Here's My Thoughts on this : Of Course We All Know that this is one of the Important Lessons in Life We Mankind need not just to remember but also needed to be Applied . I know it's not easy believe me, But not doing anything about it is TOXIC ! I know it's hard to Forgive Someone who hurt Us ; It's much easier to Hold on to our hearts than to let them go. The Memory of what they did and the damage we've Suffered make it very difficult to forgive them.

This is why we need God's help, because only He can give us the strength we need to overcome our hurts and truly learn to forgive. And we need to do this, because otherwise we'll carry those hurts around with us the rest of our lives -- and they will become like a massive, crushing burden. Long after the event has passed that caused our hurt, the anger and resentment and depression will still be with us -- and (as I often say) they'll act like a poison in our minds and souls. (Physically and Spiritually)

How can you avoid this? Begin by turning to God, admitting to Him that you know you can't do this on your own. Then ask Christ to come into your life and fill you with His love. We have treated God far worse than anyone has ever treated us -- and yet He still loves us, and His Son was willing to die for us. The Bible says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us" (1 John 3:16).

God hates the sin -- but He still loves the sinner. The Bible says, "Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).

I HOPE IT HELPS!!!- Ann