Does his words match his actions?
That is THE most important thing to consider when one is trying to look REALISTICALLY at a friendship and OR love relationship that you are currently unhappy with. Because IF you complain about something yet still TOLERATE it, the message you are sending ( despite the words you have spoken) is that you are willing to put up with it no matter how much you complain. And you may not be taken seriously by the other person because YOU have taught them not to....
Take a promised phone call.....if it does not occur when promised, you need to address it to the person who promised to make that call and let them know that you waited and that it bothered you or hurt your feelings. No drama needed, no manipulation, plain straight talking works best. And IF that person makes the same promise again, and does not call again, then you may have a problem, they are doing one thing while saying another.
Take a promised meeting....if it does not occur when and how promised, again you address it to the person, and perhaps there was a valid excuse, but perhaps not, and you have to work that out. Because IF a person is consistently saying ONE thing and doing ANOTHER, you have to start looking at their actions, and not listening to their words. No amount of drama, will change things until you accept that if a person in your life may not mean what they say if they do not keep their word to you. And while it may take you a while to work that out when you WANT so badly to believe the words, but it is only when you free yourself of wanting to believe and accepting that they mean their actions and not their words when they are in direct contradiction that you can free yourself to have in your life what you truly deserve.
Hard and all as that may be to accept or come to understand....
But if you are willing to wait, days, weeks and or months between a text, email, and or phone call or even a meeting, and STILL believe it when they promise you AGAIN and the follow through is simply not there, it is also YOUR fault for putting up with it. And without laying BARE in front of the person and telling them straight out that the actions not matching the words is a DEAL BREAKER for you and MEAN it ( you cannot expect them to keep their words to you without you keeping YOUR word to them AND more importantly YOURSELF)
then you have ONLY yourself to blame for letting them think it was okay to you....
Peace,
Joan
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Wow,This is sooo TRUE! Your blogs are like medicine. I keep taking it. I think one day I will wake up and be well and realize that I finally got it. Thank you for keeping them up. You are oh so wise!
Ann
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