Do not feel like an idiot. You are not losing your mind. You are fabulous. It isn't YOUR fault that the person you are in love cannot return the love in the manner that you want, hope or expect. You are giving and giving, trying to breathe life into a blob, but it doesn't change. So, you change. and Change. And change. Until who you originally ARE gets totally lost, and even YOU don't recognize who you are when you look in the mirror.
Again, you are not stupid, idiotic, or derranged. The only thing you need to understand is the blob you're putting so much effort into does not have the capacity to evolve beyond the amoeba state. He (or she) can't participate with you in a really mature and close emotional relationship. He swims at the surface, thus his relationships are superficial.
Once an amoeba, always an amoeba - at least with YOU. And, who can blame your outrage, after ALL the time and effort, energy, love, and nurturing that you've invested into your amoeba when he suddenly "gets it"...but it's with someone else? (Actually, what he "gets" is someone less evolved than you)
Congratulations, Young Grasshopper. You teach well, and even amoebas have a tiny capacity for learning. Heal your heart, there's actual life coming to you. Look forward to what I call your "relationship equal" ..... and it won't be an emotional amoebic-blob.
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