I know that surrender sounds terrible to some. If you are a person who has been wounded in a past relationship, surrendering will sound scary if not way too vulnerable for you to do. The truth is that if you want a relationship, you have to let go of what went wrong in your past relationships and be willing ot meet your new partner half way.
If there is a need to prove that you were right in the relationship, it means that you will be unhappy and can lose your relationship. I always ask a person if they want to be right or if they want to be happy. When we choose to date someone, we are really choosing to let go of some of our self so that we can have room to learn and grow with our partner.
Do not expect the new partner to make up for what the old partner did. It is not fair to your new partner that your old one hurt you or disappointed you. When you are in a relationship make sure that it includes just you and your current partner. Bringing the past in your current relationship will make it crowded and your current partner will leave.
Then you may feel like you can not have a relationship or that you are unlucky in love. There is no such thing as being unlucky in love. The bad luck is really the past baggage that is being allowed to hurt the present.
I'll be honest... at first it hurts, but only because it's really scary for me. I cried a lot yesterday and today. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of being stepped on and taken advantage of and having someone else stomping all over me as a result of surrendering. And someone pointed out to the that that was already happening... and that I had nothing more to fear. I cried... what she said was true.
At first I thought I was surrendering because I was giving up... exhausted, at the end of my rope. And it turns out that it's the one thing that will set me free from a lot of my hurts. I imprisoned myself all that time because I was fighting reality.
I recieved an email from a dear friend that says...Ann,there is nothing you can say that will ever be "terrible". You are the sweetest, kind, patient, caring person, and friend. You are so right with what you state. If there is struggle, let it go. It doesn't mean give up. I have had to do this, and it is so very hard. The person has consumed my heart, and soul. I have to love enough to let go. The bird in the cage scenario. I know in my heart the bird will come back, yet there is the factor of the other person, and there past baggage.... they are part of the equation, and if they hold on, it may not end, but it will take soooo long, or never, for an improvement, or to reach that happy place. It has everything to do with having FAITH. Give it up to God, and learn to walk, side by side on the journey of life.
Surrendering means letting go of what does not serve you. It is actually a strength, a wisdom, a growth and an awareness of something higher.
I now understand the power of surrendering.I am beginning to open myself up again and surrender and it feels great and very freeing. I am choosing happiness over being right! I will tape this mantra to my fridge. LOL
May God Blesses you all.
Peace,
Ann
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