FORGIVE AND REWARD YOURSELF

Most people seek happiness outside themselves - more money, a better job, more romance - but there's no true contentment unless it first comes from within.
When some people look within, they don't like what they see. Their disappointment in themselves and their self-hate may be masked by habits of compulsive perfectionism...criticism of self and others...or escape into alcohol, drugs, TV, etc.

In order to be your own best friend, you must learn to develop the same kind of tolerant goodwill, positive attitude and love toward yourself that you feel toward people whom you treasure as friends.

To put it differently, being your own best friend means becoming your own parent. We never outgrown the need to be loved and nurtured. We must simply take over from our parents the task of loving and nurturing ourselves...
Learn to give yourself the boundless encouragement, kindly patience and unqualified support that a good parent gives his/her children.
Forgive yourself when you make mistakes - and reward yourself when you do well.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR FEELINGS

Emotion has an undeniable - even mysterious - power. There's a payoff for regarding feelings as stronger than we are. They can get us off the emotional hook for doing something damaging to ourselves or others in the heat of a moment.
But being ruled by emotions takes a heavy toll. We feel weak rather than strong...self-pity rather than self-respect.

There are two parts to any feeling that we experience - the emotional part, which includes anger, passion and fear...and the intellectual part. Using our knowledge and intelligence, we must decide how we want to react. Feelings are not independent. We evoke them...and if we're mature, we then choose how to act on them.

You must make a basic decision. Do you want to be a ruler or the slave of your emotions? Recognize that you have a right to your feelings - including the painful and hateful ones. But whether you act on them, cling to them or let them pass is within your power. Remember, feelings change and don't last forever.