PARENTING IS A JOB

" Human Beings are the only creatures on earth that allows their Children to come back Home".
- Bill Cosby

Wow, How Amazingly true indeed! Before i proceed... I would like to take this oppurtunity to THANK all of You who has been sending me some feedbacks about my Blogs. It makes me feel so good and more inspirational knowing you appreciate it and literally waiting for some more. One of my dearest friend who wrote me and says...."Ann, You are an epiphanie of a great mom ". Thank You Carmela- but I think and I do believe that it applies to every Mom out there. We all did and still trying to be the Best Mom that we can be- not so easy but God knows we are trying are very best! Most of us who are parents never realize the complexities, challenges and effort it will ultimately take when we first bring a child into this world. Often, we are excited, perhaps for our own subjective reasons and hope that our kids do “turn out” in a certain way; the way we want them to be.

My 17 yrs Old Son ,( gee....that right there enough for you to figure out already the drama I'm going through!) Last night the moment has arrived for my first born child to uttered the words that i've been fearing the most of all these years..."Mom I want and I am ready to move out". I sat there not knowing what to say - Feels like my world crumbled again -it's like hearing all over again for the first time for the words ," I want a Divorce !" ( for those of you who've been through divorce you should know my pain!) Slowly, I looked at each one of my 5 children faces thinking should I scream now ? cry? or maybe grab a frying pan and smack the crap out of him maybe then he will get out off his senses and realize he is not dreaming no more! But none of those things i had mentioned really is the answer. Before i even open my mouth i quietly prayed first, telling God if this is his will then ..." Thy will be done". I have been struggling trying to figure out the right way on disciplining my kids and just doing the right things. For the past months now there are so many changes going on with my son , I guess it would come to this one way or another.

Trust me being brought up from a different culture this is a very hard for me to swallow . This also comes with the child before they are born. Their lessons are theirs, regardless of how we raise them: meaning, there is nothing we can do to eliminate or take away their lessons. How we do raise them though, will determine if we help them to learn their lessons, as in assisting them in a positive way, or make it inherently harder for them to work through their lessons by not guiding them in the correct fashion for them. As a parent, we won’t be able to learn the lessons for them. No matter how hard we try or how much we love them, they will have to go through certain experiences, hardships, struggles and pain – in short, going through it themselves!
Even if a parent raised a child absolutely perfectly, (as many of us have aspired to do) they will still have we call in today’s world, baggage! We must understand our part in all of this! We have not created this baggage; therefore, it is not ours to be able to take it away. We are here to assist, offer counsel, support, even limits when needed. We are not intended to merely be just intellectual by standers. We participate in the process, but we cannot become the child and step into their shoes. We can’t be them, or try to take all of their work away from them! Sometimes this process is so hard as a parent who truly loves their child with all of their heart – not wanting to see them suffer or struggle at all. However, with the spiritual awareness that their lessons belong to them, we, as parents now know our appropriate role.

Parenting is a job – a full time job – with no paid vacation days, or personal days. It is a constant, ever present job that is work – hard work. Often, before having kids, we think of how cute and adorable they’ll be laying in their crib, endlessly giggling and then beginning to crawl. But kids come with their own baggage and set of issues as established above, no matter how perfectly they are raised. It is important as parents to approach parenting as a job, with its own set of rules and regulations and challenges.
We must love our children – unconditionally. Not love them only till they do something we don’t like, or even resent, doing poorly in school, or indulging in negative behaviors. With unconditional love, it just is…a continual and endless stream of light and love, without judgment whatsoever, pouring down eternally from God through us and to our children. It cannot have conditions on it – or the love will fall short. No matter who or what our children become, when we love them unconditionally, it will always end up being better for them, meaning that unconditional love always helps our children in one way or another to become better people. And that doesn’t mean that we need to be doormats and let them walk all over us. If our children, say, had stolen something from us, there must be consequences for such an action, but the love never stops! If they don’t do their homework, they must be directed to do so – and if consequences or restrictions are necessary, that is fine. Yet, unconditional love means that even when they’ve done wrong, they are dealt with by us in a nurturing, compassionate, kind and supportive way.It is a bonus if they can love us in return – but we can’t expect it. Expecting it is selfish and defeats the purpose of parenting – again, to prepare our children to join this ever moving journey, where only they can bring to the table what God has gifted them with. Let us say that our kids loving us in return is a nice bonus, like receiving a huge year end check at the end of the year, but we must not be waiting for it.


The key as parents is to offer the same degree of love, consistency, structure and rules to all of our children, although, with the knowledge that they will all turn out different from each other. We shouldn’t compromise what we know to be right and wrong, yet each child is still going to be who they are; on a soul leve. We know our job is to realize that the same formula forever yields completely varying and different results. Since each child has different needs, talents and strengths, as a parent, you do what you can to bring out and enhance what works for them.

Well , the other kids wasn't too happy about it until one of the boys realized he will finally have his own room now-that changed the whole atmosphere! We hold each other- gave the "Ann and the kool kids Family Huggs", We Prayed together and have our Friday Night Pizza . I felt relieved in a way although there was tears shed im not gonna deny that but giving my son my Blessings and hoping He is ans will be doing the right things .I am leaving it in God's Hands from here on . My doors will always be open whenever he wants to come back. I will continue to taking care of the lil ones and Myself of course .

GOD BLESS YOU ALL ! I hope you guys are enjoying your weekend- I am going to work for a little bit this morning and hang out with my kids like always! I actually started writing at 1am and woke up early to finish it. Take Care....

Peace To All, Ann