The doors we open and close each day decide the life we lead... I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
This year my family and I celebrated our Christmas with full of Joy and Laughters! My Hubby is in town to surprised our daughter Aisha in his Santa Claus outfit.Atlast Our Family is ONE again !!! My hubby made us an Awesome Xmas dinner that we never had for awhile now. We had our first family gun shooting in the early freezing afternoon. Eventhough i wasn't feeling good and could barely talk but It's all worth it! Everyone had a lovely time and there is nothing in this world like spending time with our loved ones. I am so Thankful and Blessed to have a wonderful Man and Loving Beautiful children.
Life is a beautiful journey, but sometimes it's just wise to slow down and enjoy the ride. Remember, if you are heading in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
From my Family to yours.... Wishing you love, enlightenment, and laughter!
(My Apologies this blog was intend to post on Xmas day ...Enjoy!)
SO SAD BUT TRUE!! Everyday should be Christmas, don't you think? We have great things to offer everyday to one another., Even certain people who "think" outside the box a bit.. You have to expect that there will be people at times that do not understand the Holy Spirit and how everything operates. You have to Forgive, being one of the biggest aspects to human life. If you really forgive from the heart you no longer carry any extra baggage. You do not stomp on your own growth. You are able to gain such peace. You really can begin by looking deep in your center to what has taken place and resolve it with love. Love always allows everything to look small. Nothing is to wide or to strong to over come love. Love like it is Christmas everyday!! Your peace begins when you start to treat life as a Gift, not a hindrance. Prayer is what everyone needs as that is food for the soul on many levels. We should start to see that the only way to truth the truth that is "real" inside of us is to start to accept the process. Think about Christmas we give Gifts, we make lavish foods, we have good cheer, we laugh, we cry, we offer our hearts. Everyday should be one of those days and YES! for some it may be. God Bless to those who live life everyday like it is Christmas,. When you humble yourself and you have entered humility, you know your on your way to a grander life and much has been bestowed upon you. That should be everyday!!Not just one.
Keep it in your heart!!
God bless you All !!! May all your life be filled from Christmas to each and every day with happiness,peace,love that you so deserve!
Merry Christmas from My Family to Yours.
Peace to All, Antonette, James, Justin , Joseph, Angeliviv and Aisha Keona
Christmas is about a gift and a miracle. The gift is love embodied in the miracle of a birth. We all can learn from this...love is the ultimate gift which brings about the miracles of our lives. If we give love freely, we can then accept the miracles graciously. Like the birth of a child, miracles require a great deal of patience, a great deal of self love and care, and a complete submission to God's timing and not our own. You cannot control pregnancy. For some, it takes nine months on the dot, for others it's a little less or a little more. The end result is the same: the wonderment and awe of a miracle before our very eyes. Through prayer~which is steadfastly upheld in this blog~and faith, miracles happen...safely coccooned in love.
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. ~Bill Meyer
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. Hugh Downs
Every day is a gift. When I think of Christmas approaching, I think of not just that one day but all the days to come, and every day which has brought me to today. Being a Single Mom raising 5 Children is full of challenges, but what a gift to have my children along for the journey. I could sit and focus on every obstacle, or I could take a look at what we have already overcome. It's all a choice where we place our focus.
Wishing you blessings, smiles, and a heart full of good will.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, Gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does'nt serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. we are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not just in some of us, its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
The above speech by Nelson Mandela was originally written by Marianne Williamson who is the gifted author of other Spiritual matierial.'
We all have moments in life where we trudge along life's path, going through the motions of everyday living feeling rather blah about our live. During this times it is common to stop and wonder, 'why me?' or 'when is something nice going to happen for me?'....we sigh, shrug, mumble to ourselves and continue moving along life's path.
I have been experiencing such a time the past few weeks. This past year has been a year of changes, endings, loss, and challenges. It was with a heavy heart I entered the holiday season knowing how difficult this time would be for my children being the first major holiday without much presents . Christmas is a big holiday for them.So I entered this season trying to make it as bright as possible around here, even though my heart wasn't in it. Then I have to learn yesterday about my house ....ahh i was very devastated! All in all, this has not been the best of times in my corner of the world. But...life moves forward and we trudge along in spite of any setbacks and challenges.
And then there are times when God or the Universe decides to give you a booster shot of life blessings; colorful blessing to let you that things will get better.
My booster shot arrived TODAY!!!
Trudging along life's path, I was doing my daily routine at work when all of a sudden my Team Manager Ms. Robyn had to tell me to get off the phone and that she wanted to speak to me and it is very important. For a moment i didn't know what to do whether to go with her or ignore her for i have been starting to feel hopeless in my situation since it's almost the end of the day and I have not heard anything what's going on with my account. She took me to her desk Then within a few moments, and much to my surprised....She have given me the Best Christmas Gift Ever for Me and My Children. I couldn't help but crying and All i can say was " GOD IS GOOD.....GOD IS GOOD...over and over!!" (It was like watching a soap opera i suppose to everyone on the floor watching us hugging and in tears..)
Life was back to normal...with an exception. I had been given a booster shot of life's blessings! it was the moment of colorful confetti, balloons, and excitement of those around me that move me within. It was literally as if God was showering me with attention, love, caring, and colorful blessings. His way of letting me know that things won't always be so challenging; that when we least expect it and in the most unusual ways, blessing from above will be showered upon us!
So if you are experiencing one of those moments in your life, have faith, look around you and watch for God's colorful blessings! You never know when you will get a booster shot of blessings simply to keep you going!
God is Good that he has sent me his Angels to reassure me and my children that we will be OK ....Namely , From My Supervisors Mariana, Anthony and William , to my VP Theresa and of course Robyn and others who offered Prayers in my situation. In God's time they will be Rewarded with Great Blessings. Thank you so Much!!
Today, pay close attention to situations, people, and events happening around you and look for the blessing in each circumstance. Perhaps you have been experiencing some challenges and wonder when this 'run of bad luck' is going to end. That day has arrived--God and the angels are sending you extra blessings today. They are giving you an over-sized cushion of love, light, and protective energy. Nothing can stand in your way now...you are truly blessed.
Watch for the blessings as they rain from above!
May you be showered with a basket of colorful blessings, Ann
There are days that seem almost impossible to make it through. Many things can be on our plate, and it just looks like slop. When You have those days, it is so important to pause long enough so a miracle can be reveal.
The past couple weeks has been very difficult for me alot of things are not working as it supposed to be . The pain not having enough sleep, getting so stressed out and frustrated . Depression is also interrelated with this issues and tears can come easily. The miracle is the tears. They wash away the anxiety and bring a release to every muscle. Another miracle is this too shall pass if I just pause and breath. A miracle is in the breath. A deep breath helps to remind us of the here and now.
It is the month of holidays and miracles, yet so many get caught up in their lack that they resent the holidays coming up. They might not have enough food, or money for presents or just feeling so alone, those all describe my life right now, but is there truth to it? Only if you accept they small glance of your present as the only reality you possess. I choose not too. We always have the decision to change our perspective.
Why I think the way I do? Simply this is a passing moment. All holidays are abundant. Just what do you define as abundant? For me it is simply the grace of gratitude. Through this means, all material and physical conditions become illuminated in the realms of God's love, not what we consider love. We are not being punished by not having material abundance, instead we are being uplifted in the joy of 'Spirit'.
As I try to bring a rainbow bridge to all faiths in the message of love, may we all remember the love of Spirit be it called God, G-d, Great Spirit, Allah or Goddess. May we find the grace of God within each human being and embrace each other versus killing each other in the name of religion. May we share in the Cosmic Being's love for all and not just a group, and may one day we all have this prayer in our heart. May we sing joy versus hate for those who do not follow our path of faith.
How can you change your perspective to start your path to gratitude? You start with the small things at first. After you start this, your gratitude will grow where the ego is not the one ruling you or your world, instead your own spirit which is linked to the Cosmic Source. It is in here the miracle of this season is felt. Love of all kinds, instead of my kind.
A blog from a Friend.....Thanks my friend for this amazing blog you have been truly amazing, insightful, smart..cheers girl!!
Why worry and think so much about what another person is thinking or feeling about us when the only thing that matters is what they DO about it... If someone thinks that we are going to put up with the elastic band relationship and make it somewhat easy when they DO come back around...where is their motivation to work hard at it? The hardest part of a break up or pull back is NOT when they are away from us.....it is on the approach BACK to us that counts. Because IF we want to do it different THIS time around we cannot allow them back unless we RE-negotiate the relationship at that point otherwise, you will be in the same boat weeks or months down the line....and do you really want that? If we do not say what we mean or mean what we say we are only going to get more of the same. The one thing we really need from our partner is to be taken at our word, there is no point in yelling and screaming at a person and then showing them by our behavior that we did not mean what we said. We can tell them we want more and if they pull away we need to SHOW them we mean that by NOT contacting them and NOT avoiding their call when they DO call us... We have to TALK to them, ask them did they think about what they might want in the relationship, and this type of talk does NOT mean they have to be ready for the relationship to move ahead.....it just means they need to be open to it so that we know that we are NOT wasting our time because we are too afraid to state clearly what our expectations are in the relationship. Knowing what you want, knowing what you deal breakers are, are MOST important as well as not being wiling to compromise because of fear....
...And Here's my Opinion of this....
First of All,The one thing I have learned and mostly the hard way is if we meet all of their needs as in time spent with us, emotional and physical needs their motivation starts to fade or disapear. And things rarely just change, people need to be motivted in order to change, and we do not have the power to change anyone except ourselves, and that in turn has the power to change others if they have the motivation.... In otherwards they change or walk away, and at least then we KNOW.....
But on the other hand....I absolutely agree about NOT PLAYING GAMES EVER. If everyones' needs are being met, then why on earth would they jeopardise the relationship and risk losing their partner? thats the part I dont get here. You see, peoples' needs are a VARIABLE factor. Sometimes they can be met for a period of time and sometimes they change, So
MY QUESTION IS: WHAT DO WE GAIN BY WITHHOLDING FULFILLING SOMEONES WE LOVES' NEEDS EVER? IT HAS NEVER WORKED FOR ME TO BE CRUEL TO GET WHAT I WANT. As a matter of fact, ITS ALWAYS BEEN THE OPPOSITE IN LOVE AS WELL AS FRIENDSHIPS.So why on earth play games? Is'nt life too short? Dont we owe it to ourselves and anyone in our lives to be as good to ourselves and them as possible??
The BOTTOM LINE: As the saying goes: "People dont remember what you said or did, But they will never forget the way you made them feel" So I choose to continue to give atleast 100% of me at all times, Or not give at all. It would be very nice if all mankind were predictable but as we all know each individual and each relationship is unique, what works for some, May not work for others. We gain a lot by being HONEST, and we gain a lot by keeping healthy boundaries in our relationships. There is NO need for cruelty!!!Like I said, game playing does not work. And for the most part people are with you because of how you make them feel but if a person thinks you will put up with crumbs that is ALL you WILL get from them if YOU have taught them that is enough for you regardless of what you say. Saying what you want and MAKING them understand that you MEAN it are key in ANY relationship whether there IS another person involved or not. Lfe is WAY too short to play games! And we owe it to ourselves AND other to say what we MEAN and MEAN what we SAY!!
Is for every intentional action there is a corresponding consequence. Beneficial actions produce beneficial results, and harmful actions produce harmful results. It is important to understand that the consequence of anything you do depends on your motive for doing it, so the deed itself is not as important as the intention, with regard to your own karma. It is also important to know that in this context the word `action' includes all intentional conduct, thought and speech .
We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise.
I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marrigae. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise.
Marriage is like a garden. You have to watch what you you sow in it, and you have to be prepared to work hard and long to pluck out the weeds of discontent and discouragement.
Wishing you a day full of love, and laughter!
Ann
This song Inspires me while watching the movie MARLEY AND ME ....I hope you like it.
Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.
In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present - love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure - the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.
Focus on your gifts, your abilities&what you can do to make a difference in your life & the lives of others.It's when you focus on flaws or what isn't working where you may find your greatest frustration.Live life on purpose&bring a little joy into your own life just through your own thinking!
Twin flames, also called twin souls, are literally the other half of our soul. We each have only one twin, and generally after being split the two went their separate ways, incarnating over and over to gather human experience before coming back together. Ideally, this happens in both of their last lifetimes on the planet so they can ascend together. So you probably haven't had many lifetimes with your twin.
Each twin is a complete soul, not half a soul. It is their task to become more whole, balancing their female and male sides, and ideally become enlightened, before reuniting with their twin. This reunion is of two complete and whole beings. All other relationships through all our lives could be said to be "practice" for the twin, the ultimate relationship.
Have I Met My Twin?
Twin Flame reunions are the most fulfilling relationships we can enter into as humans, on all levels. However, twin flame couples have been extremely rare on the planet, and for good reasons, which will be described later. Despite this, we are finding that more and more twins are finding each other now, because of the acceleration of spiritual transformation and opportunities for soul evolution we are all experiencing. People are evolving and learning and healing at such a fast rate that they are getting ready for their twins faster. What used to take lifetimes to learn and heal, people are now going through in years or even months. This is the astounding level of acceleration we and the planet are going through.
When twins get together, it is for some kind of spiritual service work. This is their primary reason for finding each other, because through their union a huge birthing of creative energy is released, to be used for their mission together. More and more twins are attempting to get together now to help the planet and humanity make a big shift forward in consciousness.
However, many of these attempts at reunion are unsuccessful because the individual people are not quite ready for the intensity of a twin flame union. It is more intense than any other union, and this intensity is at a soul level, not as much in the physical or even emotional bodies. This doesn't mean that there isn't a good attraction at those levels as well, but the strongest attraction is of spirit. This is one of the distinguishing characteristics of a twin soul. Many people think they have met their twin because the attraction is so intense, but it is a karmic attraction, one of need or bodily desire rather than the Divine Love of twins.
Your chance of meeting and staying with your twin depends on how evolved your soul is, and how much of your baggage from this and past lives you have cleared. The biggest reason twins have to separate after coming together is their individual emotional baggage. Because in the presence of your twin, there can be nothing between you, nothing blocking your closeness. This means that everything comes up for healing that you haven't previously healed. Everything!
When twins reunite, both of them experience an acceleration of their spiritual growth and awakening. They get on the fast track of learning about esoteric wisdom and experiencing other states of consciousness. They usually haven't been together all that often during their series of lives on the planet, and so their backgrounds may be different. Yet, there is a closeness and similarities of spirit that are almost uncanny, noticed in many ways, such as looking back at yourself when you look at your mate, and a remembering of the distant past when you first split up. Guidance is strong with these relationships, and usually one or both have a good channel for communication with Spirit. Their connection is telepathic, and hugging each other is like coming home for nourishment.
GREAT BLOG,Thanks for Sharing.... Here's My Personal Opinion about this since i was told several times about my Twin Flames...WE have the same BIRTHDAY JULY 17....WE met at work...We got married ....and have a wonderful daughter....We got Seperated..We got divorced... After all those pains ans sufferings...it is very intense . . . Now we are still here Together. . . It is just wonderful to know that he is in the world . . . and we both carry a sweet smile inside . . . knowing that the other is there . . . and being OK with all of it!
Sometimes, we meet people who are our soulmates..this is a level thats a step below TWIN FLAMES..therfore, we dont remain together. The sad part is when people have a hard time accepting that they did ot learn the lessons they were meant to learn while with their soulmate, as this is where they must go their seperate ways, so that each can go on to the next level. LOVE - Especially the Unconditional Kind is a great reward on the physical plane that one must graduate to receive, it is earnt...That is why its crucial to LOVE unconditionally whoever you ave made a commitment to, and learn all the lessons this relationship presents as well as accept all their traits good and bad, since who they are really are a PERFECT REFLECTION (Mirror Image) OF OUR OWN INNER SELVES. The minute we accept them we choose to either remain or leave the relationship, either way doing so with love, so that when we meet again, we can continue growing as whole complete souls coming together... Then and only then can the relationship be at a higher vibration frequency which is meeting of the self in another - such as TWIN FLAME.
Unconditional love is incredible! But so WAY worth it . . . "LOVE the one your with" is a must for twin flames . . . as our work moves forward . . . can't hurry the work . . . it is what it is.
I always look at marriage like a garden.Some complain that roses have thorns—others rejoice that thorns have roses! Marriages are often like a rose garden which needs tending to. It will have it's thorns, and it's seasons of roses in full bloom. The key is that a marriage takes WORK. It's a commitment and many people can get comfortable and take each other for granted. However, the real question is where is your focus at?
You can focus on what your partner isn't doing or you can focus on the things they have done. Think about how you blossom in being the best you. Do you blossom under a nagging environment? Or do you blossom with compliments and loving words? Your partner needs the same things you do. Nagging and belittling your partner will kill a relationship. So treat your spouse as you would want to be treated and stop keeping score. It's not about one uping the other or who did the last nice thing. It's not about who makes the most money or is the most thoughtful one. A marriage is working on team effort of being the best you can be.
Plan for Romance. Make time to bring intimacy into your relationship. Intimacy comes in many forms from holding hands and cuddling to having a healthy sex life. If you plant love into your relationship, a healthy sex life can follow. It's not all about sex, but certainly keeping that loving bond between you is important. Try not to focus on what he or she isn't doing, and just do your part and be the spouse you want your spouse to be.
Communicate This is very Important and if i have to keep a score to this I could honeslty say ...I will flank! This is where I am guilty of and I must enforced this to myself everytime. But It's through open and honest communication that you can get the answers you are seeking. When you question what is being said, don't be afraid to say "Are you saying...". Don't jump to conclusions or think the worst. One person can say one thing but mean something entirely different. A man can tell a woman she is gaining weight and a woman will hear 'he doesn't love me". Often what we think we hear may not be what our spouse is meaning to say. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and ask when you are not sure. Don't go to bed angry. Speak with love in your heart not from a point of fear. Otherwise you may end up saying something you don't mean.
Marriages go through spurts and seasons. Drop your expectations because you set your marriage up for failure by expecting your spouse to know all your needs and wants all the time. No one is perfect. No one can meet all of your hopes. Put love into the marriage through your own actions and words. Make your focus about you and what you can do to change the marriage when it feels like you are going through a hard season. Set some time aside to discuss issues but try not to discuss those issues when you are heated or having a bad day.
Don't suffocate each other ( another one of my failures). Marriages aren't meant to be cages where one can not pursue their interests. Now I'm not saying it's a great idea to be hanging out with a bunch of single friends and flirting at bars. Use common sense as to what activities can help you become a better person. I do believe as individuals you need to grow and be able to bring your best self into the marriage. However, you do respect each other and act the way you'd want your spouse to act. Don't do anything to threaten the marriage. Once you get married it's not about just you.
Take turns with the tv remote or doing things you may not want to do. Your idea of having a nice afternoon might be a shopping trip while you spouse would rather watch sports. Take time to do things you don't like to do together. I know my husband goes to my church every sunday Catholic eventhough that is not he practices but he believes how important it is to me that he doesn't second guessing himself for doing so. Remember 911 and remind yourself that it won't kill you to please your spouse for a day even if it's not your idea of a fun time doing what they like to do. Remember love isn't selfish.
A friend told me about this dvd "Laugh Your Way Into A Good Marriage". She said This is a fantastic dvd which basically addresses the differences between the sexes and how we can think differently. I found this to be a great reminder to learn to keep laughter in your marriage. Often we get so caught up in the day to day chore of living that we forget to take time to laugh and have some fun. Life can become routine if we let it. We need to take time to zap in some laughter and love and get away from all the worries and change our routine a bit. Remember if marriage is like a garden sometimes you have to rotate the crops and move things around a bit! Have fun and enjoy each other.
I can remember not having money to go to a restaurant because I had five children at home so the kids and I made menus and we set the table. I became really creative in adding that factor of romance in my marriage. You do not have to have tons of money to create a loving atmosphere. You can do a lot of things to show your spouse love. It's the little things we often forget about that can matter the most. Slipping I love you notes into the lunch or putting them around the house or perhaps even on the dash of the vehicle can show you care. Maybe throwing in a candy bar or something your spouse loves into their lunch. Or you could just make your spouse their favorite dinner. I used to bring my husband food to work sometimes when the kids are off from school we all go to my husbands work and bring his food and hang out with him til he is ready to go back to work , i know that is something we all enjoyed to do. You can set up a family night or date night to try to rekindle that fire. There are many ways you can show your spouse how much you love them. If you begin showing them, it may just open up a door for them to show you as well. Yet I would not encourage you try this with the hope or expectation that your spouse will do something for you. Do it because you love and because YOU made a commitment. Drop your expectations and make your marriage work by working from your end.
Remember that you can focus on the thorns or turn your focus the blossom. I certainly hope you find your marital garden full of love after you sow in your very best!
May God Bless You All....
Love, Ann
A faded wedding photograph You and me in our first dance Our eyes are closed We're lost in one sweet embrace Since those days our world has changed Our love remains the same God knows we've had our share of saving grace
And I'm proud of all the blessings You have given me The mountains we have climbed to get this far
You learn to take the laughter with the tears After all these years
You make it feel brand new After the fires that we've walked through Against the odds we never lost our faith In our house we've made our home Where our children all have grown Precious moments time can not erase
Make a living up and down the gypsy highway Seasons that we've had to share apart Somehow in my heart I'll always keep you near After all these years
After all these years You stood by me The days and nights that I was gone After all these years You sacrificed, believed in me And you stood strong Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear After all these years
After all these years You stood by me The days and nights that I was gone After all these years You sacrificed, believed in me And you stood strong Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear After all these years
Plain English? I find that most people demand plain English of you and yet speak Double Dutch back. Within relationships we have to be clear in our expectations, state them outright, and verbalize what WE WANT and NEED.
FEAR can and does prevent us from doing that, but we have no one to blame but ourselves if we did not clarify our wants, needs and expectations from the beginning. And that also means we should not do all the work or contacting, as if we do, that will then be expected of us, since we set the tone of the relationship that way. And then we become annoyed and upset that we are doing that........when it was our fault to begin with.
Relationships are not like shopping, we cannot put one relationship down and expect to go to the bargain rack and pick up another one right away. It, for the most part, does not work that way. ( I KNOW it does for SOME people) others have to be ready to let things go ( and some of us have problems with the letting go thing) before we can be ready to BE in a relationship again that would not be doomed from the beginning as we were in the right place emotionally when it started!!!!
Do you agree???
Namaste, Ann
Gretchen Rubin writes this blog regarding finding ways to find your happiness. And one of the things that she talks about is how to Fight Fairly. I highly recommend this site for many reasons. So here are some of the things she recommends regarding fights.....
Please try to understand my point of view. Wait, can I take that back? You don’t have to solve this—it helps me just to talk to you. This is important to me. Please listen. I overreacted. I see you’re in a tough position. I can see my part in this. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I could be wrong. Let’s agree to disagree on that. This isn’t just your problem, it’s our problem. I’m feeling unappreciated. [Always, my craving for gold stars!] We’re getting off the subject. You’ve convinced me. Let’s take a break for a few minutes. [If you can remember to do this, it’s extremely effective – especially if you’re having a big fight. After a break, it’s almost impossible to go back to yelling.] Please keep talking to me. I realize it's not your fault. That came out all wrong. I see how I contributed to the problem. What are we really fighting about? How can I make things better? I’m sorry. I love you
Boy , oh boy someone saying any one of those things might stop a fight in it's tracks.I know that I have tried for years to make people understand that it is important to fight fairly and there was a process to do so. It takes effort and analysis but it is worth it and I can attest to that because of my personal experiences in life. WE AS HUMANS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO FIGHT CORRECTLY!!! ~~ Ann
Wow this Song just hit the roof on my end !!! I've been tryimg to write something with a very exact words thats been bottling up inside of me and this song is just PERFECT!!! Here's to You again....From My Heart to Yours...I have Never Stop Loving YOU.
I thought sometime alone was what we really needed you said this time would hurt more than it helps but I couldn't see that I thought it was the end of a beautiful story and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone) and I tried to find out if this one thing is true that I'm nothing without you I know better now and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart I'd rather have the one who holds my heart whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah
And then I met someone and thought she could replace you we got a long just fine we wasted time because she was not you we had a lot of fun though we knew we were faking love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true that I'm nothing without you I know better now and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart I'd rather have the one who holds my heart who holds my heart
I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you, I can only prove the things I say with time, please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you, than good times with someone else (I know) I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime), than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby) I'd rather have hard times to gether, than to have it easy apart I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)
I'd rather have bad times with you (surely), than good times with someone else (surely) I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah), than safe and warm by myself (all by myself) I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart (you know it) I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart I'd rather have the one who holds
It made weekend box-office records and surprised people: the new romantic comedy The Proposal. It features 44-year old Sandra Bullock in the starring role, and her on-screen love interest is 32-year old Ryan Reynolds. Bullock even has her first nude scene, something she did not do in any of her on-screen roles during her 20s and 30s. The messge is that “even" in her 40s, a woman is “hot”. The publicity around the film, however, makes no mention of Bullock’s and Reynold’s age difference and the studio would not talk about it in an interview.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. These are a few of the more prominent (and successful) real-life known pairings of midlife women and younger men. The women in these real-life relationships are now being labelled as “cougars”.
A New Label for Women Labeling people and putting them in categories is a common way of dehumanizing them, of not seeing them as human beings, of objectifying them. Once you have an animal or object labeled, especially as an animal or mythical/fantasy entity, then you have them under control and contained. They are simple, not complex as are real humans. Now, you can decide what to do with them and you need not treat them with the respect and consideration you would give a human. Women have historically been categorized as in generalizations such as the symbolic triumvirate of The Virgin/Saint, The Mother and the Whore.
Cougars do not fit into the first two categories. That leaves Whore.
Defining the Cougar But what IS a cougar? A cougar is generally considered to be a woman of 35 or older who seeks out romantic or sexual relationships with younger men. She is supposed to be an overtly sexual woman over 35 who seeks out men for sex – but doesn’t want commitment, cohabitation or children. The term “cougar” implies predation, manipulaton, cunning behavior, sneakiness, and attacking. It implies a woman is an animal with sharp claws, a deceitful nature and a creature who is sex-starved or over-sexed.
Some related definitions I came across are “cougar-juiced” and “cougar dens”.
“Cougar-juiced” is a term men use to describe having been (successfully) preyed upon by a midlife woman..and “juicing” her is the ephemism for the man’s sexual conquest of her
“Cougar dens” are parties arranged for the purpose of putting together midlife women and younger men for sexual hookups.
Looking at these common definitions and ascriptions, is the “cougar” what women 35 and older want to be -- not a human being with a life, but a sexually predatory animal who is driven by sexual organs and desires and having sex that she “should not be having”?
There are no special terms for single, sexual men. They’re usually just called men. If a man meets a woman and has sex with her he is praised as “lucky”. Single, sexual men tend to be categorized and praised in terms of their job status, their income, their sexual power and their sports achievements. If a 47-year old man is dating or having sex with a 28-year old woman he is lauded for sexual virility and power.
Single, sexual women are labelled derogatorily in terms of their sexuality. The labels infer that for midlife women being sexual is not societally acceptable and normal. It is inferred to be an aberration, unnatural, and not something positive, healthy and human. Midlife woman are viewed in terms of a negative sexuality. It is not so long ago that women were considered to be sexually dried up, void, unsatisfying, unsatisfied and dysfunctional by the time she reached the age of 40 and/or was unable to bear children. She was likely someone’s wife and if she was having a fulfilling sex life she was not fulfilling the expected role of Virgin/Saint or Mother. She was left with The Whore label, whether spoken or unspoken.
The Midlife Woman in the Media Is the “cougar” a media-created and media-driven trend that will fade from view? Could the “cougar” be extinct by Summer 2010?
Popular television shows like Sex and the City, Brothers and Sisters, Damages and The Closer portray midlife women as confident, intelligent, atactive working women with personal and professional lives. There is a new television show called Cougartown, in which Courtney Cox portrays a sex-starved housewife (although the media whisper is a prediction of early cancellation). There is also an upcoming reality dating show called The Cougar.
The Hollywood film industry jumped on the bandwagon last year, opening Summer 2008 with Sex and the City: The Movie, a film which garnered the largest opening in history for a film centerd solely on women. This seems to be continuing with several films for Summer 2009: In My Life in Ruins, there is no mention of age difference as Nia Vardalos (46) seduces Alexis Georgoulis (34), In Cheri, Michelle Pfeiffer (51) enjoys a romantic and sexual relationship with a man, Rupert Friend (27), who is nearly half her age. The film The Rebound, centers on a May-September dating relationship between Catherine Zeta-Jones (39) and a 25 year old man. In Julie & Julia, Meryl Streep (60) plays real-life culinary superstar Julia Child while the younger Stanley Tucci (49), portrays her husband.
Real-life Midlife Women Women ages 35 and older as a group are more confident, pre-occupied with their lives, busy working on their careers and not consumed with giving up their lives to support a man in his pursuit of his goals and dreams. They are more relaxed in their bodies and comfortable with their sexuality, not letting it be dictated by men and men’s fantasies. They are not centered on trying to look like a supermodel or Playboy bunny. They know their bodies and their minds and do not get confused and forget who they are because a man pays attention to them. They generally know not to listen to what a man says rather to, instead, watch what he does.
In real-life, a significant number of men prefer the midlife woman between the ages of 35 and 60 who is somewhere between approximately 10-20 years older. What is appealing to these men is the stability of an older woman and the confidence, the lack of game-playing. The modern midlife woman also tends to be very young at heart because midlife has evolved, and the consequence is women ages 35 and older have better and more life options. Midlife women living in developed nations in today’s world have access to better healthcare, more control over their bodies and their sexuality, and better exercise options
Your Relationship with a Younger Partner If you are a midlife woman age 35 or older, you understand that you are not an animal, not a mythical or fantasy creature, not driven in life by your sexuality. You understand that you are a complex human adult female with a job/career, family, friends, choices, challenges, opinions, interests, and yes, a sexuality.
Choosing to be with a younger male partner is like choosing ANY male partner, including, what challenges you two might face regarding, for example, financial or healthcare issues; and what roles you allow the media, your family and you friends to play in your relationship.
Two areas I mentioned, namely healthcare and finances, are ones in which you will want to be especially attentive, as you will want to ensure that you remain financially in control of your resources. Women still do not make an equal income compared to men and any assets you have should be protected. Money and love have nothing to do with one another so do not assume the love you feel today will keep your money safe tomorrow. Women live longer than men and more senior citizen women live in poverty than men. Think about your retirement and guard your future. As far as healthcare, remember that as a midlife woman you have special issues and need to take good care of your body as you approach or go through menopause and other related and unrelated aging issues.
Remember, the midlife woman is a human being, not an animal (cougar) in control of her private relationship with a younger man.
And if all indications are true, the “cougar” media-hype trend will be extinct or at least hardly noticeable in the next year or so, and the relationships will endure. Just ask Susan and Tim, Demi and Ashton, and Goldie and Kurt.
L. Barrett Powell is an international coach and cultural trainer/consultant with an academic background and experience in psychology, theology and journalism. Barrett's focus is on Success Coaching incorporating the Law of Attraction. She lives and works with individuals and inter-cultural organizations in the USA and Europe as a coach, coordinator and trainer. Contact her by email.
Friendship is a blessing it's the best you have to share, The talents and the wisdom, the capacity to care.... It's being there to lend support, whatever needs arise, It's making sure that others know they're special in your eyes...
Friendship is a blessing, and, to all who have a friend, It's one of the most precious gifts, that life could ever send.
OUR GREAT MEMORIES GROWING UP WILL ALWAYS BE CHERISHED....I LOVE YOU SIS!! I MISS YOU GUYS! IN GOD'S TIME WE WILL ALL REUNITE AGAIN...GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I think gratitude is a wonderful spiritual practice and think dedicated a whole day to it is just awesome. I have celebrated the holiday in many different ways. I have spent the day alone in silence and surrounded by friends and family.
I think this holiday is a wonderful time to be grateful for what we do have and to share our love with random acts of kindness. As I look back over my life, no matter what was happening, if I took the time to be grateful solutions and angels in all their various forms appeared.
No matter what is happening in your life right now I can guarantee if you are grateful for what is and reach out to help someone else magic and miracles will occur, in both your lives. Be someone's angel just because. Sure it feels good to help but do it just because. Immerse yourself in love and watch your life blossom and grow.
Look in the mirror and gently say your name several times and then with all the feeling you can muster say 'I love you.' Do that 3-4 times a day and you will be an angel of love for yourself.
During the greatest challenges in my life I have thought of the passage from the bible which states,"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Boy Have there been some challenging times where I have had to let go & let God.There have been days when I have sat back thinking I need to allow God to carry me ...today through this crisis.To me, It's okay to say we've reached our limit...
I know that you have heard this phrase and you've probably seen it on stickers and magnets and such............but until it means something to you...........do you really know what it means?
I talk to so many people each day who are stressed out about their relationships and their careers. When I say to them, "Let go and let God handle it." They seem disbelieving, or untrusting. Can you blame them? Today, I myself learned the meaning of what I have been preaching.
Stress is and has been such a part of my life for several years. I have depression problems, insomnia etc.....I prayed so hard and the only thing my gut tells me ... "LET GO AND LET GOD!"
This is why in THE SECRET, they tell you to focus on what you want, and the release it. Let the universe do it's thing, (or GOD) We're all stressed out about the things that we have no control over anyway, Right???
So starting today, I am going to release my stress by letting God worry about things for me. He has control and can do anything. There's going to be a new me, a happier me!
We all want to win, every one of us. And nothing tastes sweeter than victory after a long-fought battle. But sometimes I find, somewhere along the way, we took our eye off the ball and let it become all about the fight and winning rather than the prize.
Love is not enough (it never is), nor are the good times you spend with this man. You must WIN!
Your life revolves around this goal. Yes, you get discouraged. Yes, you lose hope. Yes, you cry, you hurt, but you can't give up. After all, your goal could be right around the corner, the summit might be right around this next bend on the mountain trail. You can't stop now!
Find a MAN who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the MAN who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, " That's HER... MY WOMAN , I AM HER MAN ....and, I WILL STAND BY HER AGAINSTS ALL ODDS".
Namaste, Ann
" FAITHFULLY" ...My Friend Arnel Lead Singer of JOURNEY
THE PRIDE OF PINOY ...ARNEL PINEDA FROM JOURNEY (Man i remembered him performed in CAL JAM my friends owns the place back home - it was late 80's early 90's i was in College- we used to hang out every Friday night and Now He is the MAN!!!-KUDOS TO YOU ARNEL
One of my darling facebook friends whom I adore because she is so open about her life. She tells it all and never hides what she is feeling. Just now she posted a beautiful comment about exploring deep love with her hubby. She spoke about them doing a deep inquiry into their relationship. the laughing, crying, the everything! Yes she is celebrating the good and the bad of her marriage and thanking him for being her partner on the journey. She is allowing him to be the mirror for her and vice versa for him. It was beautiful. She was professing her love for her spouse even when times are tough. She called him the hammer and she the nail. It was beautiful!
THE TRUTH IS THAT.........you can't get to the point of deep romantic love unless your expose yourself 100%. that means your fears, doubts, anger,etc. It is the willingness to stick it out when things are tough. It is the willingness to let your partner make you feel hurt and anger and your willing to do the inquiry to why you feel the hurt and anger. THAT IS DEEP LOVE! that is the truth about a soul mate. A soul mate is someone who is suppose spiritually kick your behind! You may hate it but in the end you will feel something deeper than you could image feeling.
There is no love without the self inquiry. Love heals the wounds if you let it by self inquiry. Love is not a band aid. Not the real thing at least. I am amazed at her. What woman admits that the bad times is the self growth times.She is not selling some phony love story of a perfect marriage Exposure is what people hate but it is what we need.
IF YOU WANT THE REAL THING than be ready to be tried and tested, hurt, angry and even betrayed. Then emerge from it and see that it exist to bring you to the next level. That is love.
Wow!!! that kind a spells it out for me don't ya think? As I reflect, I understand now, how the breaking down, the anger, the hurt, the let downs... we have over come all, and somehow, come out stronger, better, closer. Until, the next episode. I am looking forward to the episodes being less intense. That will be nice.
The hurt and anger leads to balance. It teaches each party how to work with the relationship. It is normal for people to want to have their way. Of course in a relationship the struggle is to find a way for both to give and take. Remember everyone, if it hurts, there is a lesson involved.
Thank you ...Wishing you all alot of Love and Plenty of Blessings!!
For YOU ....I've tried so Hard but For you It wasn't EVER Good Enough. Thank you for the Memories...But,I can't let you Hurt US anymore.
Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye Even with our fists held high It never would've worked out right We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out I didn't come here to hurt you Now I can't stop
I want you to know that it doesn't matter Where we take this road Someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another That doesn't always make you want to cry Started with a perfect kiss Then we could feel the poison set in Perfect couldn't keep this love alive You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know that it doesn't matter Where we take this road Someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone You can't make it feel right When you know that it's wrong I'm already gone, already gone There's no moving on So I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know that it doesn't matter Where we take this road Someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone You can't make it feel right When you know that it's wrong I'm already gone, already gone There's no moving on So I'm already gone
Stop. Go. Stop. Go. This is what those red and green twinkle lights of Christmas strands remind me of. The green lights flash, then the red ones. Mixed signals. Remember, we all learned as kids that song about the stop light - "Red on top means stop, stop, stop...Yellow says be careful...Green below says go, go, go.. Yellow says be careful". And, mixed signals don't have a Yellow light - it's either Stop or Go. Some fun here, hunh?
One minute your partner is present, the next he/she is screeching on the breaks. What to do?
Yield!!! Locate YOUR yellow light! Use caution. Step back. REFUSE to be confused. The reality is that it's THEIR confusion that is causing the flashy lights to twinkle, "stop, go, stop, go".
If you do not participate and watch - much in the same way you are watching a really bad movie - I mean a really bad one, as in "B" where the film ran out of money and they use claymation to complete the movie instead of real actors - what results is that you stay grounded. You use caution. You don't participate in the back/forth of their ball of confusion.
Face it: If you consider yourself to be the awesome individual that you are; if you refuse to allow your brains to be their ping pong table; if you just let the storm ride out - you're actually doing your partner a favor. Your boundaries assist him/her in thinking things through, and giving a respect to you. You don't blow up, you don't lose your cool, you don't participate in their brat attack. You remove the little light that is forcing the annoying "stop/start".
Then, you will see all green lights - steady, sound, grounded.
Finally, I am running away from this MESS for good!!! ALAS!!! It's so hard to deal with someone who I believed and my friends support this too ...Dealing with someone "Bi-Polar" One minute he is IN , one minute he is OUT...Then Blames everything on You , they Stand soo Righteous that they it's all your fault not them. Alleluia I'm finally OUT!!! GREEN LIGHT ..FOR STAYING GROUNDED. Yeeepeeyy!!!
A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, "Ahhhhh." Surprised, he hears a voice coming from the mountain, "Ahhhhh!" Filled with curiosity, he screams: "Who are you?", but the only answer he receives is: "Who are you?"
This makes him angry, so he screams: "You are a coward!", and the voice answers: "You are a coward!"
He looks at his father, asking, "Dad, what is going on?" "Son," the man replies, "pay attention!" Then he screams, "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire you!"
The father shouts, "You are wonderful!", and the voice answers: "You are wonderful!"
The boy is surprised, but still can't understand what is going on.
Then the father explains, "People call this 'ECHO', but truly it is 'LIFE!' Life always gives you back what you give out!
Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love, give more love! If you want more kindness, give more kindness! If you want understanding and respect, give understanding and respect! If you want people to be patient and respectful to you, give patience and respect! This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives."
Life always gives you back what you give out. Your life is not a coincidence, but a mirror of your own doings
This song has some powerful words and the verve pipe really know how to dish em out.I think basically it's a song about growing up and moving from a state of ignorance into a state of realization which is always a painful transition. Everyone goes through it, and in addition to his incredible voice and the great music, that relatability that the song has is what ultimately makes it a favorite of so many. Everyone's done things in their past that they look back on and wonder "What the hell was I thinking", those events change you for the rest of your life and that's something everyone can understand and if you don't then someday you will.
When I was young I knew everything She, a punk who rarely ever took advice Now I'm gilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice now
I can't be held responsible Cause she was touching her face I won't be held responsible She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins We were merely freshmen
My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her His girl took a weeks' worth of Valium and slept Now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says
I can't be held responsible Cause she was touching her face I won't be held responsible She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins We were merely freshmen
We've tried to wash our hands of all this We never talk of our lacking relationships And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say
I can't be held responsible Cause she was touching her face I won't be held responsible She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins We were merely freshmen
I admit, I've had a fake relationship. Everything about it was false - from the feelings that I managed to manufacture, to the Hallmark cards that expressed the sentiments that I WANTED to feel, but didn't.
When my fake relationship was crumbling, yes - I cried. Why? I suppose because my fake relationship did not manifest into what I wanted so badly to be real. And, I desperately wanted it to be real. Alas, it wasn't. I recall receiving the obligatory phone calls and not being one bit excited when I heard his voice. "Did I want to have dinner?" *yawn* sure - no one else around, you'll do. "Did I want to go to a party?" *yawn* Oh, yah, so everyone else could observe how fake our interactions were - sure. Why not?
So as my fake relationship disintegrated into more nothingness, something inside of me awoke and started cheering. Yes, my heart felt lighter. No more lies, no more self-deception, no more telling someone that I hardly liked (let alone loved) that I "love you" (said with all the enthusiasm of "I need to do laundry"). No more opening trinkets that were bought on impulse and pretending that they were the greatest gift on Earth! Yippie!
Amazingly, as I released my fake relationship and focused on me, my desires, my needs, doing things that I enjoyed and asking the Universe to bring me someone of like-mindedness....guess what? It happened.
The Universe knows when you're in a fake relationship, and regardless of how much YOU want SOMEONE - if that 'someone' isn't true in your heart, all you get is more emptiness. If you aren't with a person that makes your toes tingle, and brings a smile to your heart (for the most part - hey, we all have crabby days), then release it. And, no - it's not better than being alone!
Wait for the real deal, and not only will your life be more fun and fulfilling - but you're rewarded with what TRUE joy feels like!
I'm Glad that I made the right decisions to walk away from this person ....Who sucked me all dry!! With all his FAKE PROMISES AND FAKE I LOVE U'S ... How would this person feel if someone else will do this to him....hahaha!!
Life certainly can bring many challenges to us, but I have felt it's in the valleys where we grow the most. We find out what we are made of during our trials. For those of you facing difficulties today, I would tell you to just keep the faith and focus on the love not the fears. Each day is such a precious gift even wh...en it's one of those days challenging our minds and spirit. Stay positive and believe in your ability to surpass whatever you are facing.
My power today lies in transition. I have what I need and am willing to trust the process order to move on, seek refuge or new opportunity. I'm not willing to remain where my perceptions are invalidated but being vulnerable I must rely on guidance to move in a new direction or trust that I can make it or be led to security and new hope. 'Wherever you go, there you are.' I am empowered by perseverance and my virtue is survival.
Ever hear that saying that it's so obvious that it's inconspicuous? Or the one about "Can't see the forest through the trees"? Just think about it for a minute....the one guy that has totally supported you throughout all of your drama, relationship issues, family issues, issues that require tissues...well, you get the point....but here he's been there regardless...for YOU... yet, you just don't have that "lovin' feeling" for HIM, and you've taken it totally for granted that he's just "there".
All kinds of excuses run around in your mind when you think of him.... "We're just friends" "He's not my type" "He's too nice".......
But then perhaps your perspective changes just a bit, and Mr. "I've always been there for you" looks slightly more interesting because he HAS always been there for you? And what's really the clincher is when Mr. I've always been there for you finds a new object of his affection and now decides that he doesn't want to be there for you. Talk about interesting dynamics.
So, what's it going to be? Are you ready to acknowledge what's been in front of you all along, or are you going to continue to play ostrich, and let the best thing that ever happened to you slip through the sand?
" If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place". It could of not been said any better. The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.
Wishing you all the Very Best....
Peace, Ann (I LOVE THIS CLIP FROM THE MOVIE A LOT LIKE LOVE....)
There are TWO ways to LIVE your LIFE-One is though NOTHING is A MIRACLE...The Other is though EVERYTHING is A Miracle.Wishing you COMPASSION,INTEGRITY,and GRACE today.May you have enough peaks and valleys to help you become the best you can be. Remember that as you go along your journey there are children or other people watching how you handle your struggles. Life is forever changing, so embrace each day and remember that your trials can turn into celebrated triumphs. It's all about your thinking and staying focused on your goals.
TGIF!!! My power today lies in ACCEPTANCE. It's over and done in no uncertain terms. I recognized, surrendered to or accept the finality of the truth or consequences in order to look to the future or have "changed my mind." I let go of all attachment or resistance to sustaining conditions that don't work or are out of ...my hands. E tu brute? I can't move forward by beating a dead horse. It's the last word so put a period on it and move on. I am empowered by TRUTH and consequences and my virtue is liberation or release from suffering, uncertainty or victimhood
At some point , You have to make a Decision. Boudaries don't keep other people out, they Fenced you In!
Life is Messy that's how we're made.... So you can waste your Life drawing the lines or You can Live your Life crossing them. But there are some lines that way to dangerous to cross.
Here's what i know, If you are willing to take the chance ..... the view from the other side is EXPECTACULAR!!!
I'VE NOTHING BUT LOVE & LIFE'S JOY ON MY MIND, SEEMS I'VE FINALLY LEFT ALL MY TROUBLES BEHIND, CALIFORNIA and PHILIPPINES BEAUTY STILL WAITS BACK THERE FOR ME. BUT,I'VE MADE A NEW NEST FOR MYSELF IN THIS TREE. I DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME FEEL IM WORTHY, I JUST NEED MY KIDS TO BE HAPPY & HEALTHY, I'LL GO SALSA DANCING AND UNWIND MYSELF EVERY NOW AND THEN. THEN THANK GOD ALL MIGHTY FOR ALL THE BLESSINGS HE HAS GIVEN ME-
It's to the point where you're ready to boil bunnies, and just the thought of the guy (or gal) makes you want to slash tires. You've been hurt, and your hurt has evolved to anger. Anger directed at yourself, your broken relationship and everyone around you. You may as well be wearing a cloak of negativity, or better - a huge can of Raid. That negativity acts as a repellent to everyone around you and sends out the energy to "stay away from me".
Now, here's the hard part. Asking yourself what purpose the anger is serving you? Is it making you feel better about yourself, or is it directing you into a self-destructive spiral? Everyone that has a heartBEAT also has a heart that has been broken at one time or another. The heart goes on beating, though, right? You CAN and WILL heal.
Your choices are: 1. Survive it, and turn your grief (that has graduated to anger) into grace, or 2. Stay in a negative space, surrounded by your repellent energy. Know that if you put yourself "out there" too soon, you're only going to attract someone that is in the same negative space, full of anger and resentment that you are. TAKE TIME TO HEAL. Take some 'ME' time!
When I write "turn it into grace" what I mean is that there are things about the relationship to be grateful for. Now you know that this wasn't the person you once thought he/she was. Now you are aware that you can't fix it. Now you can happily move on knowing that the experience has provided a great platform for you to know what you DO NOT WANT. NOW you can focus on yourself, and the kind of relationship that will bring you joy; not constant confusion and frustration!
Think of it this way: Had it not been for this complex, argumentative relationship maybe you never would have realized that you, yourself, have inner demons that have now been unleashed. Maybe you saw a very ugly side of you that was brought out, and don't ever want that to see this in yourself again?
Turn your grief to grace. Slow down and think about how grateful you are, and let the anger subside. Give yourself time to heal. Otherwise, all you're going to attract with that "Raid Repellent" energy is another cockroach.....
