LIES, LIES, LIES - and the WHY of LIES!
You KNOW he's lying to you, yet he's doing it with such sincerity, that it makes you doubt- just for a moment - that perhaps he isn't. But, your intuition kicks in, and the pieces fall together and it makes more sense to you than ever that he IS lying. And it hurts. Why does it hurt? Because he thinks you're dumb enough to believe him, or, that he doesn't respect you enough to tell you the truth?
So, why is it, that PEOPLE lie? In my rudimentary research, I believe I've found the answer. First, there are 3 types of "lies" that people will tell.
1. A "White" lie. This is merely not saying truth about something that isn't all that "significant". A "white" lie scenario is: You get your hair cut. It's not exactly the best look for you, but you may hear all kinds of complements about it.
2. Omission Lie. An omission lie is withholding pertinent information to maybe spare feelings, or covering up action that one may feel guilty about. An "Omission" lie scenario is: "Yes, I went to have a few drinks with friends". What you're not told is that the ex was there and they had some serious conversation, but this can be justified because she/he is a "friend" (okay, a friend for now).
3. Blatant Lie. This is the worst kind. Not only is information withheld from you that will assist you in connecting the dots, but the truth is clearly distorted to redirect guilt that the person telling you the lie may have. We all know blatant lies, I don't need to provide a scenario, but I will. "I had a flat tire and had to go into the bar to see if someone would help. It took a while, but I made it home okay. I'll see you tomorrow". Obviously, no flat tire, he/she spent the night with the ex, and stood you up. When you question a blatant liar, you'll receive a very defensive - often times violent reaction. "How dare you question MY integrity???".
People lie for all kinds of reasons MOST of the time to JUSTIFY in their warped mind the actions they chose. The bottom line is that it is EASIER to tell a lie than it is to tell the truth. Telling a lie dismisses the need for a lengthy explanation, and avoids exposure. If you allow the liar in your life to slip with even a "white lie", it can and often does progress further. (ie: if she/he is gullible enough to believe this, then why not get away with more?).
I know this much: it hurt like the dickens when I finally cut my hair after 20 years. My guy said to me, "gee it's short". Not the response I was looking for, but hey- he was honest. Sometimes, honesty bites. However, look at it this way: if your partner is honest with you at a very personal level you know you can trust that partner in ALL aspects.
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Great Blog , I love it!!
Coming from a Woman or a (ex) Wife who had been LIED to and CHEATED on . Through my experienced when I confronted an ex about his deceptions. They were accomplished by omitting truths so that he could purposely mislead me. To me a lie by omission; as in this case, can be just as bad as a blatant lie. The purpose of either kind of lie is the deception part or to mislead the other. A deception is a deception no matter how it is achieved and it is a wrong thing to do....period.
My favorite quote is by William Blake *The truth when told with bad intent, is worse than lies you could invent*
Kudos my friend!
Ann
( My daughter told me about this song and it's funny!)
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