Learning why you attract the people that you love in your life

( Thanks Dr. D this is very helpful to alot of Us)

I have been trying to write this blog all day. The hardest thing for people to understand that the person that they have attracted into their lives is exactly who they think they deserve. It is a hard pill to swallow when the relationship is going through rough times. Remember that no one can make you feel a certain way. Only you can make yourself feel a certain way and it is all based on your interpretation of the situation.

FIRST OF ALL.........
The initial attraction to a person serves as a way to hook you into the situation. What you find out later about the person is what you are dealing with inside. Yes people express their issues differently but the issues are the same. What frustrates you about the person that you love is what you need to heal within yourself.

If your partner is not honest, emotionally available, cheating, angry,etc. These are the issues that you must heal. You have to heal trust, being totally emotionally present meaning say what you really feel. Not saying how you feel because you are afraid of losing them is the same as not being honest. We constantly mimic what our partner is putting out to us. Remember we just have a different way of expressing it.

It is easy to bash the other party and say that they are wrong or they need to change,etc. if you do a Byron Katie worksheet, it will come back to you also. So learn not to bash your partner because they are your mirror. What you say about them, you have to say about yourself. We are always in perfect alignment with whom we love/dating.

If you find yourself focusing on their flaws, look at how those flaws exist in you. THIS EXERCISE IS NOT ABOUT BEING RIGHT OR WRONG OR JUDGMENT! It is about getting to the truth of the situation.

We can only blame for so long and the pattern repeats until we take responsibility for our role in the relationship. You can not move on until you learn what you need to learn about yourself and heal. with every relationship, it is important to look at what you learned about yourself. It makes no sense to blame the other party because they can not do anything to you without your consent. Find out why you consented to being treated in a way that you did not like. Heal that fear.

No these are not fun situations but it is the only way to get closer to who you really are. I hear form people all the time that they want a real love. A real relationship. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR! Having a real relationship is not about starring into each other's eyes expressing deep love. A real relationship is about healing your own pain through your experience with your partner. It is facing yourself by letting them serve as a mirror. It is letting love hurt and feeling fear and mistrust than healing it all.

This is what a spiritual relationship is. Remember you are waiting on you and only you when it comes to relationships. The other party will show when you are ready for them to show.