I was debating if i want to use some greatest songs lyrics of the Bee Gees like " How can you mend a broken heart" or " Emotions"... as an intro on todays blog -but then again , its too dramatic , too catastrophic and I'm not really in that bad position right now. So instead i thought of using one of my fave bands Red hot chili pepper's song "Soul to Squeeze" ...."Where I go I just don't know - I got to, gotta, gotta take it slow. When I find my piece of mind, I'm gonna give you some of my good time" . This song is about when life gets to be too much and you just can't take it and feeling like you were worthless and that life was wasted on you, because no one ever showed you how special and infinitely beautiful you are, and then LOVE came along and the world became a place of exploration, and something you could contribute to because someone believed you have something special to offer. You know deep inside that you are valid, beautiful, and have every right and reason to be happy, but life has gotten underneath your skin and you just can't cheer up.
This is a very touchy subject for a lot of us. As for Me, Few years back -I thought I found my knight and shining Armour. Oh, he said the right things,do the right things, and the I love you's, your the only one. He took my breathe away and everything else from me ....(just use your imaginations ! ) He is a Great guy ,a Keeper i must say! But for some Stupid reasons ,it has been an On and Off or Cyclic Relationship . I strongly beleived that Our Own FEARS is the Main Reasons why we do what we do.... Fear of Loosing each other perhaps and yet we get to each other's nerves by saying stupid things to one another. I know i have a lot of friends that are reading this especially who is currently overseas right now standing by with their husbands serving in the Military. And for sure raising their eyebrows ,particularly the " one in UK "(Yes, You sis !!) saying..." Oh no he didn't!" (lol!)
Acceptance is very hurtful. Moving on is fearful. If the relationship leaves you in question, tears, hurtful more than love. There are times in our lives when someone we care for deeply has to leave our lives and travel a different path.
At this point I have several choices, I can literally 'sit & wait', pining away for something that I know in my heart and gut is 'meant to be'; placing my life on hold and live in a vaccum until destiny brings him back again. Or I can trust in the workings of God, detach from the situation, get busy with living My life, and know that when the time is right I may have the chance again to reunion and travel once again with My heartmate. For One, We have been marked as some of my Psychic Friends as "Soul Mates" ....Life Time Partner who will go through alot of difference but will never break apart. ( Sigh...)
It is time to let go for now....In my case by slowly moving on doing what I've been doing for awhile taking care of my precious children , myself and work . I'm Trying to keep myself busy by adding more chores ,doing a Lil projects at home with my kids. I can get better and It will get better... I know God is smiling at me - saying, "Ann , this is nothing compare to what you had put up through in your past life." (true!)
I have accepted that this might not be the right time for me. My children needs me more than ever , I dig deeper and realize there is a lot I have to let go of myself. Things I want to accomplish. I love to travel , explore and see the world ( My friends overseas -this should be a clue for you guys to invite me over there -wherever you at ,I would pack my stuff and fly there in a heart beat!) I have to let a few things go just to keep the necessities. I am a single woman/ mom raising 5 children on my own and trying to make it here. I have to think Positive and do something creative taking my focus off of my pains. Now I must keep my faith and do what is right. I have no regrets- I am very thankful - He will always be a Part of Me, in my thoughts and in my Prayers ,the only Man who made me feel so Beautiful inside and out.
Well, I have to keep my humor in spite of all the commotions that surrounds me ....The Original Version of ...."If you Love Somebody , Set it Free...If it comes back it's Yours and if it doesn't it never was Yours!"
The Financial Version: If you Love Somebody set her/him free...If she/he comes back ,it's time to look for fresh loans. If she /he doesn't , write him /her off as an Assets gone Bad!!!
God Bless You All!
Ann
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