~ Uncertainty In Relationships ~

Are you facing uncertainty in your relationship?

Most relationships will have times of uncertainty, as that is part of our growth as individuals and as partners. If you are facing uncertainty more often then you would like in your relationship, you should take a look at what may be causing this feeling.

Most of the time uncertainty is caused by "extreme individuality", where one person is feeling as though the other is behaving selfishly. Displaying self centered acts, and unthoughtful behaviors & acts towards the other. In part this may be true, however what you must also consider, are your expectations and demands you place upon your partner. Your ideas of how they should act, or how they should treat you are quite often unrealisitic. Your ideas are too, self centered and selfish behaviors. This type of behavior from both parties often provokes rather then connects you two. You may need to temper your expectations, and that is done by truly examining what you feel. Are you expecting them to behave as you behave, because that is not realistic. Each of you are individuals, with different expressions, and different needs. Execting your partner to behave as you want them to is a selfish act on your part.

Try communicating what your needs & wants are from a more diplomatic and tactful approach. Instead of attacking them for what they do or don't do, speak of what you want and what you need from your relationship. When a person is blamed or accused of selfish acts, their natural response will be defensive. That type of approach will only create more conflict and further emotioal seperation between you two. Speaking about your needs & wants to your partner will not provoke a defensive response. They will be more receptive and able to hear your words that are expressing your feelings & desires. It is said that diplomacy can help in relationships and that tact will take you far!

So next time you feel badly about your partners actions, words or behaviors, resist the urge to come at them to tell them what they did wrong, instead, approach them with your feelings about the situation, tell them what you want & what you need. This approach is more likely to promote connection between you two instead of adding distance between you because of accusations, blame & fault finding.


( Wow! this is a GREAT BLOG , Dr. Dalagh.. I Must Keep this in Mind perhaps Practice it!! Thank you so much- Ann )