How you feel about yourself dictates your level of inner joy and happiness. It also dictates the successes you have (or don’t have). We achieve what we feel we are worthy of; nothing more, nothing less. Your sense of ‘worth’ is not based on surface values.. it is based on core beliefs. Self-esteem and our ‘core beliefs’ are the foundation of our life. Imagine building a house without a foundation or constructing a new house on a weakened foundation. What happens? Eventually the house will crumble. That is exactly what happens in our lives when we have a low self-esteem. We either fail to achieve our goals or we self-sabotage our successes. The end result is always the same; failure. We will continue this pattern until we are ready to address the low self esteem issue and devise a ‘Life Makeover’ plan.
But where does the self esteem come from?
Self esteem begins at birth. Scientific research has proven that the first moments of life are bonding between mother and baby. These are our first experiences in life that contribute to a healthy self esteem. So, from our early childhood we have a natural instinct to ‘want to please’ our parents. When we fail to live up to their expectations, subconsciously our inner chatter begins to tell us ‘we are not worthy’. This inner-voice molds a ‘belief’ and in time creates a ‘deep-seated [limiting] belief’ often called a ‘core belief’. This is not a conscious process... and oftentimes we don’t even realize we have this inner belief-system working or that we lack of self-esteem. Let me give you an example. Imagine someone you know lost their job. The state lottery soars to $250 million. They stand in line to buy a ticket. They hold it in their hand.. and the first words out of their mouth are: ‘I’ll never win.. I never win anything’.. and in that instant they get this sinking feeling. Their low self esteem is at work telling them ‘they don’t deserve to win’. On the flipside, a person with a high self-esteem will hold that ticket in their hand and KNOW they DESERVE to win. This person ‘expects’ to win.. but even if they don’t.. their life is FULL and COMPLETE and they happily move on to the next venture. This same rule holds true for love, career, success, sports and just about every venue in life.
How does our Self esteem develop? Throughout our childhood parents, teachers, friends, relatives and peers all play a role in the development of our self-esteem. When a child is criticized, ignored, humiliated or ridiculed it begins the cycle of poor self esteem. Many good-intending parents expect their children to be ‘perfect’ or they set their expectations so high that it was almost impossible for the child to live up to their ‘standards’. The end result – a low self-esteem. On the other hand, those children who grow up in a supportive environment often have a much ‘higher sense of worth’ and their level of happiness and success manifests in strong, loving relationships, successful careers and a sense of inner joy & happiness.
What are the consequences of a low self-esteem? There are many. Some of the most devastating are: depression, loneliness, stress, on-going love and relationship problems, and devastating financial problems. When we lack self-esteem and continue to experience additional failures it further lowers our self-worth as we enter into a dangerous downward spiral.
Can you succeed without a good self-esteem? Yes. But, inevitably you will self-sabotage yourself, You will lose the job, relationship, opportunity, etc or if you manage to reach the pinnacle of success you strive for –you will find it did not ‘quench your thirst’ and you still unhappy. That perpetuates the belief that you are not worthy of being happy.
So, how do I fix this? Depending on the individual there are options. Some may chose years of psychotherapy. Others will find the 21st century approach to low self esteem more easily remedied by consulting with a Life Coach. Coaching is different than therapy. Therapy deals primarily with your past. A Life Coach helps you to identify your passions and develop a custom life-plan and a blueprint to get there.
Self esteem is the foundation of our life. INVEST IN YOURSELF
No comments:
Post a Comment